Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
