gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
