Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
