Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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