Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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