Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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