Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
