I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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