Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
