Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
