no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
This baby is an asshole
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
