did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
