Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
you had me at cake vodka
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You've changed since you got that strap on
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