Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
ok first of all what the fuck
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
