I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
