it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
