Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
