his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
