Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
