I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
