So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
