Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
