so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
