He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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