It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
