i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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