My hand turned me down
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
