I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
