Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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