ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
