guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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