Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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