'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
