I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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