It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Randomize
