he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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