I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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