MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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