2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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