Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize