Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It's rum buckets o'clock
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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