yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
