Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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