if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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