So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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