I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
