the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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