wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Ladies don't puke and tell
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize