I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
