i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
