I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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