Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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