First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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