I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
