Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
