I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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