I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
