Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Vodka?
Forever.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
