so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
