I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
