Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize