Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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