Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
