i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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