Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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