I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
