he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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