If i come over, it means nothing
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize