She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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