# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
