i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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