just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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