I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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