pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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